Hi, my name is Claire, and my brain doesn’t work properly. *waves!*

This post from The Bloggess about depression and anxiety nearly made me cry, because it is perfect. If you struggle with these issues, or know some one who does, please read it. It’ll help.

I am very anti-putting-statement-ribbons-on-things, but if I did, I’d be putting up a big old silver ribbon right here, lady. Thanks, Ms. The Bloggess.

In all frankness, I am on my 3rd SSRI this year. None of the others have worked. This current one makes me VERY TENSE. And sometimes VERY SNAPPY. And not in a good way.
It’s been a difficult year for my brain. And also my family.
But we carry on.

Hugs and tight fist clenches!
Claire

About Claire

Absolutely Small is textile artist Claire Chambers. Claire Chambers is a crazy-pants artist/crafter who spends most of her time indoors, very near to Portland, Oregon. She likes making people laugh, chickens and pugs, and writing about herself in the third person. She is utterly obsessed with making things out of fabric.

Comments

  1. Hi, my name is Eerika and my brain doesn’t work right.
    I don’t usually tell people this, because I don’t want to worry them, to add more weight to the burden we all already carry. I also hate pity, and want naught to do with it.

    I’ve battled with depression and anxiety for so long I don’t quite know when or why it all started any more. There are times when getting out of bed is as hard as scaling a mountain, and there are times when doing anything at all makes me so anxious I can’t move. There are also times when I’m so happy I’m sure I’ll burst and sunlight and rainbows will come pouring out, and there are times when I’m simply quietly content with myself, the world and everything.
    I’ve won many battles, but the war still rages on.

    I wish you well in your battles, and know that you’re not fighting this fight alone.
    *hugs*

    • Eerika, thank you so much for your lovely comment! I didn’t know you were in this crummy boat, too. It’s wonderful to be in such good company. :)
      Honestly, I almost took this post down half a dozen times. I don’t like to air this stuff, either. It’s embarrassing and scary to be this exposed. Truly, extra thank yous for your comment.
      *more internet hugs!*

      • The boat may be crummy, but the company is brilliant! :)

        I’m glad you did post this; it’s sometimes hard to think of anything outside of yourself and you sort of get lost in the darkness of depression, thinking you’re alone when in reality there are countless people roaming the darkness with you. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and let people know you’re there and I really applaud you for the bravery of being so open about your wonky brain, because yes, it is flippin’ scary and embarrassing to admit that there’s something not right about you!

        If you need any help keeping your head above the water, don’t hesitate to ask. It might be a bit blind leading the blind, but if nothing else, I’m right there treading water too.

        *lots and lots of happiness-hugs*

  2. because I’m not feeling particularly wordy today, try this one on for size:

    http://1337atr.weebly.com/selfworth.html

    he writes beautifully, and he can say in 3 words what I would take a thousand to say.
    He only speaks in truth, and there are, of course, times when the truth does not seem so nice at first–but in the end, it is the truth which, in itself, is beautiful.

  3. I’m Lynsey and my brain doesn’t work properly either! I first suffered from depression when I had my first daughter although looking back I have always been anxious and a worrier. I hid it for 13 months after she was born from everyone (including my husband) and I finally broke down in tears at the doctors and I felt such relief to have it out in the open. It was horrendous ‘coming out’ but I’m so glad I did and now I talk about it all the time – even if I only help one person feel a glimmer of hope then it’s worth it. I also suffered with depression after the birth of my second daughter but luckily knew how to handle it a bit better. I haven’t had a major ‘incident’ since coming off my pills when Tara was 2ish (nearly 4 years ago) but I’m always aware of the depression hovering there, just in the background. I applaud you for mentioning it as I know how hard it is and how much you don’t want to be judged. Good luck finding a medicine that is right for you :)

  4. Hi, my name is Karen, and my brain doesn’t work properly. Seems there are lots of us, unfortunately when it hits it sure feels like we are all alone. I too, struggle to do anything. I have found a medicine that does help, unfortunately, here in Mexico it is very expensive and although I have taken 250 mg. for years and years, here they only want to prescribe 25 mg. daily. So I trudge through the quicksand and sit in my room and sleep way too much.

    I think creativity comes more naturally to those of us with “abnormal” brains, don’t you guys?

  5. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Sometimes I have tried to wean off of my SSRI and fallen flat on my face. My last bout of severe anxiety my psychiatrist smiled at my latest irrational fear and softly said, “Your brain isn’t working right.” My gosh that was comforting.

  6. To Whom It May Concern,

    I think I’m experiencing something similar. My brain isn’t what it used to be. I was once very creative and, quick, but now I’m not and it’s a struggle to do things that used to bring me joy. I also struggle with depression and have been on SSRI’s since i was 15, Im 29 now. On top of that, i struggle with substance abuse. I often wonder if some of it has to do with my poor diet and lack of exercise. I consume a lot of artificial sweeteners and packaged foods. Have you found anything to help?

    • Hi Ryan,
      Welcome to boat of crappy brains! I wish I knew of something that definitely worked for everyone, every time. I keep hoping that I’ll find something like that. What’s frustrating is that different things seem to work for different people at different times. I guess the best thing we can do is keep trying to make things better, and to get professional doctor-y help when we can. Hang in there and keep fighting!

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